


Stars Still Shine Without You

by Pinksnowdevil



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Genre: Arranged Marriage, Everybody Lives, F/M, yet another arranged marriage
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-31
Updated: 2017-09-12
Packaged: 2018-10-13 02:50:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10504890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pinksnowdevil/pseuds/Pinksnowdevil
Summary: The fairy tale of their love seemed so much nicer than the reality of it. Their lives existed so much without the other that they felt more apart than before they were married.





	1. Bathing In Starlight

He’s been a constant in her life for years now, someone to joke with during boring meetings, to help with heavy lifting during the rebuilding, someone to dance with at festivals. 

Sigrid sees him again after the battle, in the healing tents. Fíli’s injured and refusing to lay still till he sees his brother. The healers are trying to strap him down but he’s managing to shake them off, hurting himself all over again. Sigrid puts the basket of linens she was carrying down to see if she can help. He stops when he recognizes her and begs for her to see Kíli for herself. She goes to the next tent and asks the healer for Kíli’s condition, he’s stable, the fever has subsided and he had just gone back to sleep. Sigrid goes to a grumbling Fíli and tells him, he looks doubtful and she holds his hand and asks him to trust her. And he does. 

Fíli eventually gets reunited with Kíli and they move them to the same tent to keep the sanity of all the healers and to make room for the wounded. Sigrid comes to see them daily, sometimes with Bain and Tilda in tow. Other times alone. Kíli spends more time sleeping than Fíli does, he seems incapable of turning off his brain long enough to rest. Sigrid coaxes him to sleep during her visits, sometimes just telling him stories her mother used to tell her and other times humming gently. 

Once he’s better and most of the dwarves have moved into the mountain he comes by to help with what he can. Sigrid is busy, getting ready for winter and Bain and Tilda are set to explore the houses and mark which ones are the most habitable. But Fíli still comes to the campsite, sometimes to help ladle food with her, other times to help her carry something. He gets stronger every day and his limp is less pronounced as time passes. They manage to get the great hall habitable with the help of the elves. The fishermen are going out into the depth of the ice for fishing digging holes into the ice and bringing food. The elves leave but sent food with sledded carriages and pulled by northern horses. They manage to survive the first winter. It wasn’t as harsh as it could have been, and once the snows begin to melt rebuilding begins. Fíli still comes to visit them at the house they claim as their own. The village wanted her father to take the great house of Girion but Bard declines it and chooses a nice one closest to the lake. It needs less work than the others and Sigrid spends her time trying to make it feel like home. Fíli comes one day with a chair he found in the mountain that was much too big to belong to a dwarf. It was too big for Sigrid too but she thanks him just the same. 

Other times he comes down and steals her pastries that she had finally been able to make when trading begins with the south. Merchants show up with their wares and Dale begins to seem less gloomy and more lively. Fíli likes to watch her bake but Sigrid has none of it and puts him to work, chopping wood or peeling potatoes. One day when Tilda finds the old library with a some of the books still intact she makes Bain and Fíli carry them to the great hall. The old library’s roof looks like it may fall on them any day now. Kíli who is finally able to leave the mountain grumbles since he’s still not allowed to help. 

The old school of Dale is discovered in ruins, the old blackboard crumbled with chalk marks still on it. Sigrid sees the small desks in shambles and a few chairs still usable to she begins to pull them out of the rubble. The building will be torn down just like some of the others, the stone reused for new homes. The chairs and few tables she finds she takes them to the great hall, everything that is usable is taken there to be distributed to those who need it. Soon though she decides to take a room of the great hall and sets up a makeshift school. It begins with trying to find occupation for the small children whose parents are trying to help with the rebuilding and for those children who lost their parents. She reads them stories, old stories Sigrid hadn’t heard before. Tales of brave soldiers and lost kingdoms. The story of star-crossed lovers is the children's favorite, though Sigrid doesn’t tell them how it ends. It ends in tragedy.

Sometimes Fíli finds her there surrounded by children, some sitting on the stone floor, others sitting on chairs and stools. All captivated by her story. One such day towards the end of the summer he comes with more books, books of elvish epics that managed to find their way into the library at Erebor. Sigrid thanks him and the kids ask for her to read one of them and she does, Fíli leaning on the far wall listening with rapt attention the whole time. When it's time for the children to leave, some hug her on the way out, others wave, but they all smile at her. 

She comes up to him and thanks him again for the books, he smiles and motions for the door. “I was told by your sister that you have pies, I will accept your gratitude with a slice.”

She rolls her eyes and shoves him. He doesn’t budge but smiles anyway. They eat lunch outside, the breeze is cool and Tilda spends the whole time running after a stray cat that has decided that the hill below the house is its new home. Tilda wishes for it to come inside and Sigrid doesn’t think she’ll catch the darn thing. 

Her and Fíli talk the whole time, exactly what she could never remember. But the things she does remember was how he talked about the future, and how inspired she was by his ideas. How he listened to her own ideas for Dale. She tells him how she’s working on finding a bigger place for the kids to learn, how teaching them has given her a purpose and she wishes to expand on it. He doesn’t judge her for it and even has his own ideas to add to her own and she saves them in her mind. Tilda finally catches the cat, triumphantly and Sigrid can’t tell who’s more pleased about it, Tilda or the cat. It looks haughtily at Sigrid as if it's what she wanted the whole time. Fíli laughs, the corner of his eyes crinkle when he does. That was the first time her heart, the treacherous thing that it was, thumped hard in her chest. 

~*~

4 years later

Dale rebuilds, slowly buildings rise, towers fall and new faces come to the city. Almost all signs of the dragon are erased and the land between Dale and Erebor is thriving. 

Sigrid ties her apron on and gathers her books as she heads out the door, Tilda well ahead of her skipping along, the bows in her hair flapping in the wind. They’re heading to the outskirts of Dale where a small yellow house has become a school. It had been gifted to her by her father and it took a long time to make it usable but now the walls were painted and a new roof kept the rain out, the small garden surrounding it was littered with flowers that her students had planted and were just now beginning to bloom. Children were everywhere of all ages chattering away as they waited for their morning meal. 

The school was open three days a week so the students could still be at home doing their chores and because it was the only days she had extra help. Mrs. Green was an older woman who cooked for the kids three days a week with donated food from the rest of the city. Sometimes the baker sent loaves of crusty bread and other times she would bring pastries for the kids to enjoy. 

New students came every spring as new families moved to Dale and she sometimes had kids from Erebor, families who decided not to move to the mountain after spending so long living out of one. She had two Dwarrow children at the moment, a grumpy redheaded boy and a sweet dark-haired girl. 

Her lessons were simple, her goal was simple, making sure they knew their letters and basic arithmetic. They needed to write and read. The older girls sometimes joined her sewing class she held once a week. Others taught things during the week such as how to weave a fishing net and baskets. The school was open to anyone and Sigrid was in charge of it. Her brother didn’t need her anymore, not with getting married a few weeks ago and Tilda was almost no longer a child. Her father still needed her as she was the peacekeeper in the city. She usually stopped any petty squabbles her father couldn’t. She felt the school would be what gave her purpose that was wholly hers. It made her content.

The day had begun with the children cleaning up after their meal and settling in. She had proper work tables now, sturdy ones meant for children to sit around and a few bigger ones for the older children. Her students all sat down while Tilda passed the slate boards and chalk around. Soon the sound of chalk on stone could be heard as they began their lessons. 

After story time Sigrid stood to stretch and noticed they had a visitor. Fíli stood there, leaning against the wall and he gave her a small smirk. Fíli still showed up unexpectedly when he could. Sigrid smiled at him and clapped her hands. 

“Class, say hello to Prince Fíli.”

The class chorused their hellos and Fíli bowed deeply, making some of the kids giggle. Sigrid dismissed them and began collecting things from the tables. Fíli helped carry it for her while Tilda began talking. 

“Fíli, will you be coming to the festival?”

“Aye, I had hoped that you would show me around as I missed the last one and would be quite lost without your guidance.”

Sigrid rolled her eyes at him and thrust a few books with a, “Carry this for me, please?”

Sigrid picked up her own pile and they made their way out of the school Fíli walking beside her as Tilda skipped ahead of them. 

“So how did your meeting go,” Sigrid asked as they neared the outer gate. Fíli had expressed concern over an important meeting a few days ago. She had never seen him so nervous.

“It went well I think. I got uncle to cave in something I’ve been asking for a long time. But I’ll tell you about it later.”

The gate was kept open during the day so they walked in waving to the guards who were there. Tilda pointed towards the market stalls. “Did you want me to pick up supplies for dinner?”

Sigrid looked down at the pile of books and sighed, “Yes but don't doddle I don’t want to have to come looking for you.”

Tilda beamed at her and headed towards the lane while Fíli and Sigrid continued towards her house. 

“So what's with the armor. I hardly see you so formal these days.”

Fíli managed to not run into an old man who wasn’t paying any attention to those around them without tripping and cleared his throat. “Well, I had a meeting with your father this morning as well. It was an official meeting so I had to dress the part, didn’t I?”

Sigrid laughed, remembering all the times Fíli and Kíli had shown up to council meetings still in their training gear or a few times with a black eye or a bloody nose. “Must have been really important I imagine.” 

Sigrid was interrupted by an older woman with dark brown hair, “My lady, your father is looking for you. He wants you to go the great hall.” 

Sigrid frowned, “I’ll go once I drop this off of.”

The older woman, Mrs. Smith, shook her head, “I’d go now if I were you, my Lady, he seemed troubled.”

Sigrid nodded and looked at her pile of books. Fíli took them from her with a look that Sigrid didn’t quite read. “I’ll take the whole lot of them back to your house.”

She smiled and handed them over, “Thank you. I shouldn’t take long.”

“I’ll wait for you there?”

Sigrid nodded and followed Mrs. Smith back to the great hall. Inside there was murmuring as she walked in. She could feel everyone's eyes on her as they milled around. A few of them she didn’t recognize and she continued to the back room where her father had made his office. He stood there, staring out the window, looking like all the years of his life were catching up to him. 

“Da?”

Bard turned and shook his head a little as if to clear his mind and reached for Sigrid's hand. “Da, what is the matter.”

Bard sighed and brought her to his desk, an old thing that she had found for him amidst the rubble. It was littered with letters, seals broken and different insignias. She picked one up and began to read, then picked up another and then another. 

They were all about her. 

Offers of marriage from places that were too far to fathom and others from places she had never heard of. Sigrid sat down with the one from Gondor, the second son of the steward is of an age with her. She looks up at her father.

“Da?”

Bard kneels in front of her and cups her cheek. “With your brother marrying Eva so suddenly it brought you to the notice of many. The council feels I need to make a match for you, I’ve been getting letters for weeks now.” He paused and grabbed her hands. “I won't make you, I promise.”

Bain had married a merchant's daughter, a sweet girl named Eva. Her father had consented readily when he saw how much in love they were. Sigrid had been happy for the both of them. But she had known for some time what would happen next, many of the people of Dale had joked with her about when would she settle down and wondered at her if she would be sent away. 

She had thought she had more time, though, or that it wouldn’t happen, and that she could live in peace. But she knew her father wouldn’t remarry, he had said as much before. And she knew that if she didn’t accept someone the council may try to set something up for Tilda, and she couldn’t bear to have her sister sent away so she wouldn’t have to. Tilda would go, thinking it was a grand adventure, only to realize too late that it had been a mistake. 

No. She couldn’t let Tilda have a precarious future. She knew from reading the first letter that she had already made up her mind. 

“So, who do you think would be best?” She asked with a low but steady voice.

Her father argued with her, pacing the length of the office, running his hands through his gray-streaked hair. But she argued back, arguments she was sure the Steward and the rest of the council had brought before him. 

Finally, he sat down and slumped down, burying his face in his hands. “There's one more offer, though I refuse to accept it.”

Sigrid looked up from the map her father had given her so she could figure out where these places were. 

Bard swallowed the lump in his throat. “I had a meeting with Erebor this morning…”

There, that hard thump in her chest, “And?”

Bard looked down at his hands. “Fíli made an offer as well.”

Sigrid felt herself smile but she didn’t dare get her hopes up. “But that's wonderful news, isn’t it? I would be so much closer than Rohan and Fíli is my friend.”

Because Fíli was her friend. He had been there for her since that day he crawled into her home from her toilet. He had saved her life more than once and she couldn’t help but smile at the memory.

“No, Sigrid, it is now wonderful news. Don’t you remember the madness in his uncle, it is what caused our grief in the first place. No, I don’t like it one bit.”

“But Fíli is not his uncle. You know him, he’s eaten at our table. He saved our lives.”

“Lives that were in danger because of his family.

Sigrid took a deep breath, “But isn’t it my choice?”

Bard looked at his daughter with pain and nodded. Resigned, he hands her another letter, this one with Erebor's terms and Sigrid is amazed at what they are offering. It is by far the best offer at the table. 

“Think carefully Sigrid, I cannot bear to see you suffer for money. It is not worth it.”

But it wasn’t just money, it was a treaty that would benefit Dale years after she was gone, it helped with public works and fairer trade agreement. It was the protection of Erebor and its army in times of war. She knew her choice before she left her father's office and headed towards the house at the end of the lane. 

Tilda was washing vegetables with the maid Ola when she walked in. When she asked if Fíli were still there Tilda absently pointed to the back garden. Sigrid walked outside to the rhythmic sound of an ax slicing wood. A large pile lay next to Fíli. His armor lay carelessly on a chair, littered with daggers that Sigrid wondered at. When he saw her he smiled.  
“So he told you?”

She nodded and sat on a bench while he finished up the wood. She could hear Tilda in the kitchen with the maid that helped with keeping the house together.

“I had hoped I could have made you a proper offer, talk to you and ask you before your father told you but I guess he beat me to it.”

The ax swung down. He was nervous, she realized as he wouldn’t look at her in the eye. He kept chopping wood and Sigrid watched him for a moment. 

“Why didn’t you tell me your meeting with your uncle was for this offer?”

Fíli sighed and placed the ax down, finally looking at her. “Because I had asked before. But with Erebor still trying to get back to normalcy my uncle thought it best to wait, hoping to bring in…”

“A dwarrowdam?”

He nodded, “And they did, for months now they’ve been bringing them in from all over, hoping that I would look at one of them, that I would accept one of them. But they’re strangers, not a one is anyone I have known. And when I heard your father talking to Balin about Rohan and what we knew of the kingdom I figured you were in the same boat as I was. So I asked then and Thorin said no, so I waited and asked again.” He smiled at a memory, “I finally convinced him.”

He took her hand and looked at her. “I know you, you aren’t going to conspire against me or pin me against my family. And you know me, I’m not a stranger leagues away. You know I’ll never let anything happen to you and I wouldn’t prevent you from doing the things you love. That I wouldn’t keep you from your family.”

He smiled at her, “A marriage with familiarity and friendship is the best I can offer you.”

She looked down at their hands, his so much larger than hers. Sigrid thought about other marriages she had seen in her life. Her parents were in love but it ended too soon when her mother passed. Some of her neighbors married as soon as they became of age, some happy others not so much. Her own thoughts had never really been romantic like Tilda or even Bane. All she ever wanted was peace. 

So with a nod, she sealed her fate, not to a stranger but to her friend and if not love, she’d have his friendship to lead them forward. He finally smiled then and kissed the top of her head. 

Her heart was a truly treacherous little thing that hammered in her chest and his kiss lingered on her head for hours after. 

~*~

Their engagement was announced a few weeks later. It took that long to get her father and King Thorin to agree to terms. Her father had gotten over his initial shock of the whole thing by the time she was being fitted for clothes. Tilda and Kíli were beyond ecstatic that they were joining the families. Kíli hugged her at the spring festival with a laugh and Tilda began planning everything. 

She spent the spring festival with Fíli at her side, they danced, they laughed, they raced against their siblings. It was a wonderful day that gave her hope for the future.

Her wedding was planned for the end of summer and lots of plans were made. Erebor wanted to hold it inside the mountain but Sigrid wanted it in Dale. Invitations were sent and the Elves soon showed up with a host. Sigrid hardly saw Fíli during this time as he had his own preparations to make. He sent her notes or messages with the birds of Erebor, each one haughty, each one demanding payment with food. 

Evas mother and sisters were helping Sigrid, Eva was resting on the bed behind her, sighing at her dress, as she was pregnant and hadn’t felt well. Tilda was off somewhere and Sigrid was worried the girl wouldn’t be back in time to get ready. She ached to chase after her and even said so aloud. Evas mother, Enya patted her hand and smiled fondly at her. “I’m sure she’ll be back soon enough.”

 

When her hair was done and her dress laced to a comfortable level, Bain came into the room smiling at everyone but his smile grew when he saw his own wife. It took some prodding to get him to speak. “I think they’re ready sis. You look wonderful.”

Sigrid had wished her mother's gown had survived the dragon but their home was under the lake and with it a chest full of memories. She had dealt with seamstresses fighting over who had the right to make her gown, the dwarven ones demanding to clothe their new princess, the ones from Dale demanding to marry her off in the style of her people. In the end, Sigrid and Tilda had to end the discussion and had them each draw a sketch of what they had in mind. Tilda chose one that reminded her of her mother's gown and Sigrid was glad she did. It was ivory with pale gold trim, it hugged her waist and had bigger skirts than she was used to. Tilda had picked the colors, gushing over it as she did about everything.

Sigrid stood, her sister in law finishing up the last of her pins and Enya making sure the modest train lay properly. Sigrid wrung her hands together looking around when they got to the living room. 

Her father came up to her with a smile and held her hands in his, “What's the matter, love?” 

“Where is Tilda?”

He frowns, “I thought she was with you?”

Everyone soon scrambles looking for Tilda, her father calls the guards and Erebor’s guards help with the search. Sigrid wonders at where she could have gone and begins to ask everyone when was the last time anyone saw her. Sigrid hadn’t seen her since breakfast and her father said the same. Soon the whole city is running like mad knocking in every house and going inside the unoccupied ones. Sigrid looks outside her window and frowns as she sees the school house. Had anyone checked there?

She walks towards the schoolhouse, no one really notices her as everyone is running around looking for Tilda or getting the last things done for the wedding. When she leaves the city walls she picks up her skirts and begins to run in earnest. The schoolhouse is dark inside but Sigrid still goes inside to see Tilda sitting on a chair, crying.

“Oh, I found you.” Sigrid rushes to her, her heart hammering in her chest and relief flooding her senses. 

Tilda is in her new dress, tears streaming down her face and a guilty expression. “Did I miss the wedding?”

“What? No, we were worried about you! the whole city is out looking for you. Where have you been all morning?” 

Tilda sniffs and wipes her face with the back of her hand. “I went to get you flowers.”

Sigrid almost laughs, “Flowers? It took all morning to get flowers.”

Tilda sniffed indignantly. “No, I got the flowers quickly and made you something but I…”

Sigrid tilted her head back so they could look at each other. “And?”

Tilda lifted her skirts and Sigrid saw the swollen ankle, “Oh love, your ankle. It's all right, I’ll get Da, and we’ll mend you up nicely.”

Tilda’s eyes watered, ”but your wedding, everyone is waiting for you.”

Sigrid smiled at her and gave her a kiss on the top of her head. “I know. I’m sure Fíli will understand. You know he cares about you, we can wait till a healer has seen you.”

As if summoned by his name, Fíli knocked on the open door and let himself in. She had expected him to wear armor, but he wasn’t, he wore a dark blue coat with silver trim, his hair was braided and beaded in a manner she had never seen before. It looked good on him, she had to admit. He gave them a small smile.

“I thought I’d find you here.”

Sigrid tried to smile but her nerves had come back and she looked down at Tilda instead. “Tilda hurt herself, will you stay with her while I get someone?”

Fíli rolled his eyes, “No no, that won't do. Come on little princess, how about a lift.”

He lifted Tilda like she weighed nothing at all and carried out of the room, only stopping at Tilda's insistence to grab her basket. Sigrid was too surprised to say anything while Tilda smiled through her tear stained face. When she stepped outside Sigrid let out a small gasp.

A carriage was outside pulled by two snowy white rams who bleated at her when she approached. Fíli placed Tilda gently on the bench and turned to help Sigrid up.

“It was supposed to be a surprise but as always,” he shrugged, “I miss my opportunity.”

Sigrid made Tilda stretch out on the bench and sat with Fíli on the driver's seat. They slowly made their way back to Dale, Fíli worried about jostling Tilda. 

He nudged her, “You know when I saw you running out of the gates I thought you were jilting me.”

Sigrid quickly shook her head, “No! I just thought I knew where Tilda was and sort of reacted. I would never…”

“I know, he said quietly. “It took me a moment to figure it out, the carriage seemed like a good idea.”

They didn’t speak after that, the guards hailed them as they re-entered and Sigrid asked them to fetch a healer. Fíli took them to the great hall where they were spotted by Bard and King Thorin. Soon Tilda was taken away and Sigrid followed close behind. 

Hours later, when Tilda had her ankle wrapped and was given medicine for the pain did she finally see Fíli again. He looked cast down and was sitting on the bench in her garden. He had taken off the outer coat and was staring up at the sky when she sat down next to him. 

“How is she?” 

“She’ll be alright. Her ankle was set and bandaged.”

He nodded and looked at her from the corner of his eyes. “You look beautiful, I didn’t get to tell you that earlier.”

“Thank you. You clean up nicely yourself you know.”

His smile didn’t quite reach his eyes, they fell into silence and the sound of their wedding feast could be heard from the distance. But there was no wedding and the bride and groom weren’t there. 

“I’m so sorry about all of this. I didn’t think our wedding day would have gone away from us as it did.”

He chuckled, “Oh I thought something much worse would have happened, another dragon maybe? Or maybe an orc army at our gates, open rebellion from our own people? No, Sigrid, a dislocated ankle was not what I expected but at least it wasn’t any worse.”

She bit her lip, worrying it between her teeth, “Did you really think I would have run away?”

He looked at her for a long moment, as if weighing his response in his mind. “I didn’t think you were going to agree to marry me in the first place.”

She frowned, “Why did you think that?”

Fíli looked up at the sky again and said. “Because we’re friends, because you aren’t in love with me because my uncle was mad with dragon sickness because we’re the reason your home is under the lake? Take your pick, Sigrid, I knew what I was getting into when I went to your father. I’m surprised he didn’t maim me on the spot.”

When she didn’t respond he nudged her. “So… Are we still getting married?”

Sigrid nodded, “Yes we are. Tilda insists we still get married tonight and was getting carried down by my dad in a bit. Though I think a quicker ceremony will do since everyone is already feasting.”

Fíli grinned at her, “Well then, we’d better get down there before all the food is gone. I’ll wager you haven’t eaten all day.”

They walked down to the great hall where only her family and his were waiting. Kíli said something that Sigrid didn’t quite catch as he was elbowed sharply by Lady Dis. Tilda was on a large chair that usually sat in her father's office and Bain and Eva were smiling at her. Tilda waved her over and thrust a bouquet of wildflowers tied with a ribbon at her. 

Balin led the ceremony, vows were exchanged, rings were given and beads were put in, it was over. She was married.

The feast was in full swing when they were announced, half the party was drunk and the other half too full to dance. The elves were somehow the loudest, their wine flowed deep into the night.

By the time the pies and cakes were brought in Sigrid was falling asleep. Tilda had gone home with Bain and Eva, and her father was trying to outdrink the Elvish king. Sigrid didn’t think he would win. 

Fíli grabbed her hand, and whispered to her, “Let's go home love.”

Her stomach fluttered and he didn’t let go of her hand as they made their way back to the carriage where a driver waited for them. Fíli didn’t let go of her hand, it was warm and he rubbed her ring absently. The rocking motion or the long day made her fall asleep, her head leaning on his shoulder. He kissed the top of her head to wake her up and led up the mountain. Torches lined the way and the mountain felt empty as most of Erebor was still in Dale, feasting. They didn’t see anyone as they made their way to parts of the mountain she hadn’t seen before. When they got to their destination he led her inside with a small smile. 

The rooms were large, a comfortable living space filled with big chairs and sofas with blankets everywhere. A kitchen with a brand new stove was off to the left, new dishes on shelves and a pantry to one side of it. 

“This is so nice, is it just for us?”

Fíli shook his head, “No, these rooms are yours.” He motioned to a door and opened it up to show her a much smaller sitting room littered with daggers and other weapons. Armor lay carelessly in a pile. 

“I figured you’d want your own space.” He wasn’t looking at her anymore as he showed her the rest of the suite. Her rooms had a few bedrooms, the largest was for her. “I figured if Tilda wanted to visit she could have her own space here. And please feel free to decorate as you wish, I didn’t know what you would like so I went for practicality.”

She was surprised at the number of windows and when she drew near them he shrugged, “We think they were Guest rooms for the elves from long ago. The windows were already here, we just replaced the glass and reinforced the balcony out here.”

A small balcony that overlooked the valley below, she could faintly see the light of Dale off in the distance. A bench sat there and she sat down staring at the night sky above them.

He sat next to her and she couldn’t help but ask, “Don’t dwarves share living spaces with their spouses?”

He nodded, “And we are, this is all still connected, but I thought you’d want your own space.” He paused, running his hand through his beard. “Ours isn’t a typical marriage now, is it? We’re friends, and it was the least I could do to help you feel at home. Besides I don’t have a kitchen so you’ll still see me from time to time.”

And that was it, he left her there, wished her to sleep well and went through the doors to his own rooms. 

She tried to walk after him but stopped, not knowing what she would say to him. She was so tired, so confused and her thoughts went everywhere and she finally settled on the rug in front of the windows. Sitting there she could make out stars above her through the glass and her mind finally silenced itself and she felt like she could breathe.

She didn’t know what had happened tonight, everything kept slipping from her. She had thought after the incident with Tilda that things had been going well. Sigrid had been warned about her wedding night by every older woman she came across during the summer. Her own mother in Law, Lady Dis had taken her aside to ask if she knew what was expected of her. She had prepared herself for it and now she knew it would not happen. He did not want her. He had made it clear and she couldn’t help but feel at odds with it. On the one hand, she wouldn’t be required to fulfill her duties in the marriage bed but on the other, she had hoped that with time that they would have learned to love each other, that he would come to love her. 

So under the window and through the cold glass, Sigrid watched the stars until sleep took her and she spent her wedding night on her own, cold, alone and bathing in starlight.


	2. Cajoling the courtiers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, the chapters been sitting there ready to be edited for a while now. Real life and all that. Small chapter, but next one is ready.

Sigrid thought that married life so far was confusing but she navigated her way through the mountain as best as she could. Her duties had changed somewhat but it was for the best in the long-run. She worked with Eva for her to take over the little things she did for Dale, informed her who was the most tiresome of the citizens and how to best appease them. She handed over ledgers of stores to Bain to do inventory, much to his chagrin, and she showed Tilda how to cook every time she visited the mountain. Her sister was eager to learn but quick to forget steps. 

Her duties as princess of Erebor were mostly attending functions and getting to know the day to day. Lady Dis gave her so much information on the lords and ladies of the mountain that it was hard to keep track of, but she gave it her best. Her years in Dale helped some but Erebor was a different beast to Dale. She saw what Fili had meant when he said he didn’t know who to trust amidst the smiles and sly comments. From the first day she was quick to observe how they spoke, twisting words and weaving tales. 

The rest of the mountain had been quick to accept her though, the merchants tipped their hats or bowed deeply as she walked, the folks in the kitchen made room for her when she felt the need to bake, and the children of the mountain quickly began following her around. Sigrid didn’t mind it as she missed the school the most. She had handed over the reins to Mrs. Green for the first few weeks while she acclimated to the mountain but burst through to Dale the minute the time was up, losing herself in her lesson plans and finding purpose with the children. They missed her and were glad when she came back to teach.

Her new family took to her well enough, King Thorin had always been standoffish but he gave her a rare smile whenever the family sat down for dinner. Lady Dis fussed at her like she did for her sons and Sigrid didn’t mind it. Kili was always friendly with her and would always show up whenever Sigrid made food calling her sweet sister. And Fili…

Fili had been kind and attentive, making sure she could not want for anything. He showed her where her carriage was kept at the stables, took her to the library, and helped bring in her things to their apartments. But he was hardly ever alone with her. They never had breakfast together as Sigrid had as of yet get used to the hours kept inside the mountain. He was usually in meetings or on patrol while she was busy handing over the reins of one city only to learn the customs of another. They were in each other's company quite a bit but there was always someone there. She had tried to spend time with him alone but he would circumvent this with inviting Kili or another member of the company over. They would sit together and talk but never about their relationship. At formal events they walked in together, they laughed together, he would hold her hand or even kiss her cheek. And her skin would burn at his touches no matter how innocent they were. 

Weeks passed in this manner and Sigrid felt that she was finally getting a hold on her new world. Things could have been worse, she could have been sent away, never to see her family again, but instead, she was nearby. Tilda was enjoying it, at any rate, she had already spent the night once in the mountain, mostly due to the late hour. But they had spent the night sitting with Lady Dis while she told them stories of her sons in the Blue Mountains. Fili had joined them with Kili to defend themselves from their mother's ‘tall tales.’

Sigrid thought she could be content in her new life but the nagging feeling whenever she was around Fili. He seemed distant and she found herself missing the easy manner that they used to have. She found herself missing her friend.

~*~

Towards the end of autumn, as the weather was turning cold a caravan came from the Iron Hills bringing Lord Dain and his court. Sigrid watched with the rest of the family as they entered the throne room. The old throne had been dismantled, a great hall, more welcoming was in its place, the Arkenstone nowhere to be seen. Lord Dain bowed deeply before the King before they both embraced heartily, heads colliding hard. Sigrid winced at the sound but the rest of the group laughed and followed suit. Fili soon took her hand and took her for a more formal introduction. 

“Cousin, let me introduce to you, Lady Sigrid.”

Lord Dain bowed low, “Dain, at your service.”

Sigrid dipped low and repeated the sentiment before he laughed and waved it off, “Alright enough with the formalities, I’m starving.” He gave her a winning smile behind all of the beard, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “Will you escort me down to dinner?”

Sigrid nodded and found herself being led away by the older dwarf, she looked back at Fili and his expression was hard to read, his hands behind his back, his face impassive. She turned her attention back to Lord Dain and spoke to him about his journey. She was seated next to him for the dinner, across from Fili. Lord Dain told them all of the small band of orcs they ran into in the forest and how the Iron Hills was doing. He eventold them stories of the king from when they were young making the king splutter and argue with him. 

Sigrid tried to be attentive, to show that she was capable of doing what her mother in law called ‘Cajoling the courtiers.’ But she felt that there was something off with Fili. He didn’t speak unless forced to and pushed his food around. She gave him a small smile when their eyes met and he returned one that didn’t meet his eyes. 

When dinner was over she excused herself from joining the family for a drink and went to her rooms. She was so tired, the hours that she had been keeping were catching up to her and if she could just lay down then the headache she felt would go away. 

Fili caught up to her and didn’t say anything, Sigrid didn’t either, her path to her chambers was the only thing she could concentrate on. Once inside though she saw the tension in Fili’s shoulders and she thought he may be upset. Of what she wasn’t sure but she knew that all she wanted was to be out of the dress.

She walked towards the bedroom and straight to the wardrobe, pulling out her nightgown and a robe. She felt that Fili wanted to talk and she thought she could at least be comfortable. When she was finished getting dressed for bed, tightening her robe as she walked and began unpinning elaborate curls on top of her head, running her fingers through her hair as she walked to the living room. Fili had started a fire and was staring into it. In her years of knowing Fili, she had never seen a resemblance with his uncle as she did now. 

She didn’t know how to start the conversation but she knew that there was an argument beneath the tense lines of his back. They hadn’t argued since before they were married. He used to tease her to get her to get angry with him, prodding until she’d snap and he’d laugh and nudge her back to a smile. She felt her head throb at her temples and she longed for her pillows. But she stayed, she pulled the blanket off the couch and wrapped herself in it, the weight of the heavy wool giving her comfort. The fire hadn’t been going long and the room had a chill to it that sent shivers through her.

Fili finally turned around and stared at her, “I would like to… warn you about Dain and his friends, mostly the lords he brought with them. They are not always kind and can sometimes be... improper.”

It wasn’t what Sigrid was expecting, although she wasn’t sure she was expecting anything. “I see,” She paused, “Anything else?”

His jaw twitched, even through his beard she could see him clenching his teeth. She wasn’t sure if she’d ever seen him truly angry outside of battling the orcs in her father's house. Maybe once during a heated discussion with Mirkwood but this seemed different/“I just don’t want you getting too comfortable with any of them. Dain is…”

She sighed, not really knowing what Fili was getting at, and too tired at the way he was skirting at the obvious. “What, a flirt? I kinda gathered that quickly enough, and your mother told me of him a bit.” He was silent so she took a deep breath. “She warned me that his easy manner and how touchy he could be. Fili I’m a grown woman I know I haven’t been alive as long as you but I’ve lived through enough. I’ve had old men flirt and call out to me since I became of age, some even before that. Is this why you were so quiet during dinner?”

He kind of stared at her for a moment before giving her a small smile, “I guess I should have known you could take care of yourself.” He turned his head away, “I should have known I wasn’t needed.I just didn’t like how he… how he walked away with you like you were old friends.”

Sigrid blinked, realizing her own mistake during dinner and felt her cheeks burn, “I think we need to have a conversation on human customs versus those of dwarves. Walking into dinner with the guest of honor is the duty of the hostess. As your uncle is unmarried it falls to me or your mother.” She sighed and gave him a weak smile. “Was I creating some sort of incident?” He looked back to the fire and she felt embarrassed. “I honestly didn’t know, all this etiquette stuff has been taught to me so late in life and it seems it was all for not since your rules are so different.” 

Fili looked back at her with a worried expression but soon he showed her how tired he was himself, he rubbed his eyes, “Oh I’m an idiot, I wasn’t thinking.” He came close to her and reached for her hand. “You know, I think that must be why he did it, he’s used to dealing with the race of men in a more formal way than I am. Formalities do not come so easily to me as you might think. Forgive me?”

Sigrid could tell he was still tense, but she gave his hand a squeeze hoping to reassure him. “I do, as long as if I’m creating a breach of Dwarvish etiquette just tell me. Don’t stress the whole time. It would be so much easier for the both of us.”

He nodded before really looking at her, she suddenly was aware of the situation she was in. She was sitting in a dimly lit room with her husband in nightclothes and her hair was down. She wasn’t sure he had ever seen her hair down. She felt her heart race as he swallowed. 

He suddenly pulled his hand away, turning back towards the fire. “I’ll leave you to your sleep, I didn’t realize you were so tired already.”

“Already? It's almost midnight!”

He gave her the smirk, the crooked one he always used on her, the familiar crinkle of his eyes made her heart warm. It suited him better than the brooding look he had all night. If only it didn’t look so forced. She looked closer and saw the mask he had been wearing for weeks slide right on like armor.“You’ll get used to the hours soon enough. Goodnight love.”

He brushed her hair from her face, kissing the top of her head, and left through the front door. She assumed he would go back to the rest of the family but she wasn’t sure. She was too tired and too confused to think of anything but her bed, feather soft and calling to her. So she made her way to her chambers wishing to sleep for days.

~*~


	3. Friendly Bet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, went away for a few weeks with no computer. Back now.

~*~

Having nobility from both Erebor and the Iron Hills together was a lot for Sigrid to get used to. The bickering, the rivalries, the amount of gossip that spewed out of their mouths, it was taking its toll on her. Between trying to still go down to the school and having to entertain their guests she was feeling spread thin. The shadows under her eyes and the fatigue were beginning to show how tired she was. She had fallen asleep on her little carriage more times than she could count. She didn’t complain though, who would she complain to in this strange new life of hers? She couldn’t tell her family as they would worry, her new family would worry too, she thought. She used to tell Fíli these things, how tiresome being royalty could be or how infuriating some people where. She used to tell Filli these things in her garden as they watched Tilda play with the mangy cat she had captured years ago.

Now she had hardly seen Fíli alone, she was starting to get used to it. She didn’t like it though, his friendship had always made the work she did more bearable. He knew what it was like to go from worrying about when they would eat next to being a royal overnight. Thought Fíli had known about it his whole life, it was different when they had finally reclaimed the mountain. He used to share his week with her but he hadn’t done that since before their engagement. 

She was still trying to make an effort, but she knew now that he was purposefully avoiding spending time with her alone. What was starting to get to her was that he seemed to have no trouble finding time to spend with others alone. It was just her. 

She watched him talking with everyone, his easy manner, his way of directing the conversation to where he wanted. He had grown over the years as a politician and it suited him well. But she missed him more and more each day even though sometimes they sat together or near enough that she really shouldn’t feel that way. 

Fíli was near enough now, he was sitting with a young dwarrowdam with auburn hair and dark eyes. Lady Amet was everything she wasn’t. Her skin dusted with pale freckles and her bow lips curved in the sweetest smiles. She seemed to know Fíli fairly well and seemed to always end up seated next to or near Fíli during formal meals. 

It pained her at times to watch them and made her think if she had done the right thing in marrying Fíli. The girl even liked to watch Fíli train, though she wasn’t the only one. The crown prince and his brother, of course, drew a crowd every time they were sparring. Sigrid had gone down with Lady Dis one evening and seen them swooning over them as Fíli and Kíli prepared. 

It was almost the end of fall and a harvest festival was planned in Dale while the area between Dale and Erebor would host a tournament. Mounted combat, dueling, archery, were some of the events this year. Her and Dis had gone down to the training yard to find Fíli and Kíli when Sigrid had noticed the crowd of girls swooning over them with Fíli and Kíli fighting hard with big moves that were more for show than form. Sigrid had seen the smile on Lady Amet’s face, it haunted her the rest of the day. Her smile was all she could see when Fíli sat next to her at a committee meeting.

She went to bed early that day feeling weary and wishing to not think about anything at all.

Now she wished she could escape as every burst of laughter coming from their side of the table was making Sigrid wish she could run. But this was her own dinner and she wanted things to be perfect as she knew all eyes were on her. She had spent the morning baking and helping the kitchens prepare for the meal. She had almost been late as she had to hurry to get ready. She had picked Fíli’s favorite meals that he used to eat when he visited her in Dale. Everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves except her.

Soon it was time for dessert and her plate was taken away still full of food. She had hot beverages with dessert brought in as the mountain was growing ever colder as fall was almost at a close. Sigrid picked at the piece of pie in front of her as everyone dove in. The conversation continued around her as if she wasn’t there and she couldn’t wait for it to be over. 

Soon everyone was finished and the plates cleared, she led them to the sitting area next door so everyone could sit and chat or mill around. It was over, and she felt like a weight was lifted off her shoulders. Lady Dis and King Thorin smiled at her, complimenting her with insisting they couldn’t eat anymore. Kíli was badgering her soon enough for more pie. And Fíli was discussing something with Lord Dain. Others told her the baker had outdone themselves and she was fortunate that she had such handy cooks in Erebor. She smiled and thanked them but tried her best not to engage. 

When she sat down as far away from everyone she scanned the room. Lady Amet had joined Fíli and Lord Dain as they talked. Sigrid could see the way the young girl was in rapt attention to whatever they said and Sigrid felt her stomach twist. 

Kíli joined her, where he found another piece of pie she would never know but he seemed pleased with himself. 

“I thought I counted them all, there was just enough for everyone.”

“Someone declined dessert so it's mine.” Kili dug in and Sigrid shook her head at him. He was so silly when it came to pastries, almost as bad as Fíli. 

Sigrid sipped her tea and asked him about what he was going to do in the tournament. He grinned at her, “Well Dale invited the elves so there will actually be some competition for archery.”

Sigrid smiled at him knowing who he was really eager to see and they talked about the other events, including the children's race.  Tilda was too young for the children's race now, much to her chagrin but most of Sigrid's class would be entering. The prize was a flower crown and a small bag of coins, they were eager and had been running to school every day.

She felt she had enough strength now so she stood, wanting to try to talk to her guests. She regretted her actions almost at once. She was roped into a squabble between a lord from Erebor and a lady from the iron hills, they were arguing over whose champion would win. 

“No no no, little Thorin is going to win, there's no doubt in my mind. Have you seen the size of him? I swear he’s half man he’s so tall.

“There is no way he can best our lads from Erebor, he hasn’t even seen battle yet, he’s still a babe, barely of age.”

Sigrid hadn’t met ‘little Thorin’ and wondered how tall the boy must be. He would be arriving with another small host in a few days, he had stayed behind until the week of the festival.

She eventually calmed them both down by reminding them that they were only a few days away from seeing who was right. In the end, she was witness to their ‘friendly bet.’ She wasn’t sure she could repeat what the stakes were in polite company. Cheeks felt hot and she excused herself quickly from them, stepping out of the room and into the hallway, it was too loud in there anyway. She turned and saw Fíli at the end of the hallway talking to Lady Amet alone. Whatever the conversation Fíli didn’t seem too pleased.

They hadn’t noticed her though and she watched them as Lady Amet whispered to him only for Fíli to shake his head. She felt like she was intruding, everything seemed like she had walked into an intimate moment. she felt like she should run, she felt like she should go over there and see what this whispered conversation was all about. Instead, she turned and quietly went back inside, drowning herself in a sea of jewel colored dresses and robes. 

~*~

The servers cleaned up quickly so she couldn’t hide in cleaning, she walked out of the room and made her way to her own apartments. Fíli was sitting in an armchair smoking a pipe. He sometimes did this in his own rooms, she could smell the pipeweed as she tried to sleep at night.

She didn’t think he’d come to find her, so rare that it happened now, not since the Iron Hills had invaded Erebor. She felt too tired to deal with whatever was going on and she didn’t want to think about what she had seen in the dark corridor. 

He looked lost in thought when he finally noticed her. His smile was tired and he reached for her hand. 

“Dinner went without a hitch love. Everyone complimented your food.” 

She had gone to him automatically, his hand grabbing hers gently, he squeezed it before letting go. Her fingers burned and she walked towards the kitchen. She needed to do something, anything with her hands. 

She set the kettle on the fire and rummaged for her tea tins. 

“Lord Dain was impressed with your pie by the way.He pauses at the doorway to her small kitchen, “I had missed your baking, I saw my little brother got a second slice. Any left for me?”

She pulled two cups out while she responded, “No, I only had time to make just enough for tonight.”

She looked up to see him watching her as she fiddled around the kitchen. “You’ll have to wait till I bake again for more.”

She felt steadier when making tea and could feel his eyes watching her. She felt off, things kept slipping out of her hands. Looking up she motioned to the cupboard. There are some biscuits in there in the tin if you want sweets. 

He went reluctantly to the door to grab it, still watching her. Sigrid couldn’t help but wonder why tonight was the night he finally tried to spend time with her why had he chosen tonight when she was so tired to raid her pantry. She didn’t trust herself to take the tray to the table so she grabbed the cups by the handle and sat down in front of the fire. 

She kicked her shoes off and tucked her feet under her. Fíli followed her to the sitting room and set the tin of biscuits on the table. 

She forced herself to talk, “Did you enjoy your dinner?”

He nodded, “It was fruitful, got to talk to Lord Dain and a few others about something my uncle wants, he leaves it to me to convince others though.”

“Did you get anywhere with it?”

“I did.”

“I’m sure that will please your uncle.” 

“He was pleased.” 

His answers were short, his tone indifferent. Obviously he didn’t want to talk about the dinner, obviously, he came only to fight with her. To tell her what else she had done wrong. She didn’t want to fight, but she knew it was pointless to stall, she finally couldn’t handle it anymore and set her cup down. “Is there something the matter? Is there pie on my face?”

He pursed his lips before saying in a tone Sigrid didn’t recognize. “You would have to have had a bite for it to be on your face.”

They stared at one another for a long moment before he carefully set his tea aside. “I’m concerned about you. You haven’t been eating lately and you seem tired all the time.”

Sigrid had always had a quick temper, she could feel it now, the tension in her wrists her heart racing, she tried to steady it. “Wouldn’t you have to actually be in my company to know if I’m eating?”

Again Fíli had that look, the one that told her he was hiding something. He used to look the same way when he’d steal food off her plate. “I've been busy, I won't deny that, but I’m not blind Sigrid, I see how you aren’t sleeping. It's been noticed by others too, they’ve come up to me with their concern.”

“Who? Your mother? I’m with her constantly and she hasn’t said a word.” She knew lady Dis wouldn’t hesitate to say something to her if she was worried.

His eyes shifted away from her and he stood abruptly. “It doesn’t matter who, what matters is that you haven’t been taking care of yourself and I’m worried.” 

Sigrid waited for a few beats before saying the one thing she knew would bring her pain. “Would it happen to be Lady Amet who was so kind enough to show her concern?” He flinched and she nodded. “I see. Well, it's nice to know that while you were talking to her the whole night she thought of me for two seconds.” 

Fíli looked as if she had struck him, “What is that supposed to mean?”

She stood, shaky at first, her face set. She hated how tremulous her voice sounded,“Does it matter? It's not my concern who you speak with in dark corridors when you think you are alone. Thank you for your concern Fíli, you are right, I am tired.”

She walked away with as much dignity as she could muster to her room, closing the door firmly behind her. She didn’t bother with taking off her dress, she crawled inside her furs and willed them to get warmer.

  
~*~  
  
  



	4. Lock her up in a tower

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the lovely comments and kudos so far, they're really helping me to continue this.

She sat at breakfast alone, a maid bringing her a meal she didn’t ring for. She figured it must have been Fíli , his words about her eating habits rang in her ear. Sigrid drank her tea and went over her schedule for the rest of the week. So much to do, so little time to do it. She had a meeting with her father and his council that she had almost forgotten about. Fíli would be there as well as Balin, what the meeting was about she wasn’t sure. Her father had just asked for her to ride down this morning. She barely touched her breakfast, her stomach feeling uneasy, she didn’t want to be sick in the carriage. 

She heard the door to Fíli's side of their apartments open and he stepped in. He looked tense and he pointedly looked at the food in front of her. She glowered at him, sipped her tea and stood. 

“We should get going, I don’t want to keep my father waiting.”

He only nodded and held the door for her while she gathered her notebook. 

The ride down was tense as she sat across from him. A young dwarf with fluffy hair drove them down. Fíli watched the landscape the whole time, lost in thought, the morning was overcast and already a chilly fog tendrilled over everything. She’d have to bring blankets for her rides down from now on.

Fíli jumped down before they came to a complete stop, holding his hand out for her to take, helping her down. He didn’t let go of it as her father had spotted them and was coming over with a smile on his face. 

“Ah, the rest of the council is still coming in, but come on, I’m eager for your opinion.”

Since her father's initial qualms of their marriage, he had warmed to the two of them together. Once inside her father led them to a work table that was littered with maps and diagrams. All of the lake and its surrounding area, of structures that had not been built yet. Of houses some small, others grander. Her hands trembled as she saw what it was. 

Esgaroth.

Her father began to talk to her, his voice full of excitement she hadn’t heard in a long time. “We had begun to think we couldn’t rebuild, what with the dragons carcass and the ruins so unstable. But we’ve had a proposal from King Thorin for another location, a bit further south than the old one but we finally have the means to build it. What do you think love?”

Sigrid had made her peace with lake town long ago when they had survived the great battle that followed the dragon. She had known that her memories and keepsakes had either caught fire or were at the bottom of the lake. This was something so unexpected that she felt the need to sit.

As if reading her mind, Fíli led her to a chair before her knees buckled. She looked up to her father and asked, “How can Dale afford this?”

Because her time helping her father out with money and matters about Dale had taught her that while Dale was doing well they weren’t doing well enough to rebuild a whole town. 

Her father reached over and patted her hand, a sad smile ruining his good natured one he had worn during his explanation. “Well your bride price actually, not all of it mind you but that and the investment from Erebor. We’re starting with the harbor. “He pointed to the diagram. “From there we can build both on the water and on the shore. It won't be the same as it was before but it will give those who want to live on the lake a chance to go home.”

They went over the initial plans, Sigrid poured over figures, wondering how many homes would have to be built at first. Fíli seemed to know more about it, he must have known all along. He answered some of her questions, Balin handing him their own notes on the matter. She was all business for the rest of the meeting, asking about new boats, how many could the new harbor hold, and anything else that came to mind. In the end, she was too focused on the plans that she didn't realize that Fíli had pushed a strand of her hair out of her face until he was already pulling his hand away and looking down at what was in front of him. She pushed the thoughts about last night aside so she could focus. 

Something was missing from the plans she realized, something she felt was important. She pointed to the road to Dale and spoke. “Are there any plans at the moment for a road? I don't see one added to it. A set road would make land travel more convenient for those who don’t wish to sail on a boat.”

Her father looked down and brought the map closer, he shook his head, “I didn’t think on it, you know I spent most of my life on the water, I was more worried about the harbor.” 

They began trying to figure out the best way to make the road, and how wide it should be. Sigrid saw Fíli watching her but he looked away when their eyes met. She knew that he was still upset about last night, she knew that she’d have to talk to him about it at some point. 

By the time the meeting was wrapping up Balin was speaking to Fíli in a low voice, the older dwarf’s tone annoyed. Whatever it was, she wasn’t to know as Fíli cleared his throat and replied in their own tongue. Fíli looked at her, the smile he used in public plastered on his face. “I fear I will have to leave, have another meeting.” He turned to her father, “Let us know if anything comes, up.”

He came up to her and held her hand. “Don’t worry about rushing home love, I’ll see you at dinner tonight.”

He kissed her head as he always had before they were married, the gesture felt mechanical to her though, as if he was doing it because they had an audience full of her family and her own people. 

She stayed the rest of the day in Dale, having lunch with her family and trying not to think about the mountain until it was time to leave. 

~*~

At dinner, she was seated next to Fíli as she hadn’t done in weeks. She soon saw what he was about as he pushed plate after plate in her direction, his eyes daring her to say anything. Sigrid felt like a child, she hadn’t been one in years, she stabbed at her food with more violence than she had intended. No one noticed but him.

Dinner was held in Lord Dains private rooms, his son had only just arrived when Sigrid had come down for dinner. The introductions were quick, the sound of skull meeting skull as the cousins greeted each other. Kíli had come back to her side rubbing his head with a bemused expression, whispering to her that he was starting to think shaking hands was a better idea. 

Little Thorin was much taller than anyone else except Sigrid, she didn’t think she had ever seen a Dwarf so tall. Though his beard was growing in full and he was very broad, there was something that reminded her of her brother when he had grown too quickly. The dinner was less formal, and for that she was grateful. Though she quickly realized she was the only female as Lord Dain was not married. The meal was louder than usual and she wished Lady Dis was around to keep Sigrid from killing her son. 

Fíli kept trying to feed her more and more helpings of food. She had eaten well at her father's house, Eva had made a lovely stew. But Fíli wouldn’t hear of it and asked her with a honeyed voice if she wanted dessert already. 

She wished she had gone with Lady Dis to handle the dispute between two guild masters down in the merchants quarter. She really wished she had gone when the rest of Dains court joined them for tea. Fíli finally left her side, she felt like she could breathe when he and Kíli joined the rest of the men over a bottle of something foul smelling. 

She was soon joined by a few ladies, including the smiling Lady Amet and her mother. “Ah your grace, don’t worry, we can sit here and talk about more important things, let them speak of battles.”

The conversation was dull to Sigrid who wanted a reason for an escape, she didn’t care for jewelry or what kind of dress she would wear to the festival. She used to make her own, but that soon stopped when she became engaged to Fíli. Her dress for the festival was something Tilda had picked out for her, she hadn’t even seen it yet. Her sister was insisting on surprising her, though she thought Lady Dis was aware of it.

Lady Amet put a soft dainty hand on Sigrid's, “Your grace, I hear you have a school in Dale. What a charming thing that you have a profession.”

Sigrid noticed that Lady Amets hands were soft, far softer than Sigrid who had always worked with her hands, cleaning, sewing, writing. Her own hands felt like a blacksmith's in comparison to the noble girl next to her. “I love my school, I find it comforting to teach.”

Someone handed Lady Amet a tea cup, “Oh but why not here in the mountain, surely the children here would love their princess to teach them.”

“I do have a few dwarves that I teach in my class. All are welcome that want to learn. And I only teach the younger ones, the older ones go on to work with their parents or take up an apprenticeship. I do teach those who wish to learn how to sew.”

Lady Amet laughed with amusement. “And you sew as well! How extraordinary, it must be nice to have such a trade.” She leaned in as if to tell her a huge secret, her curls fell forward in red waves. “I was raised to be a politician, and it's dreadfully boring. So many meetings. I don’t know how your prince does it, he never seems to look like he’s about to fall asleep.”

Sigrid tensed up, her back rigid against the chair she was sitting on. She sipped her tea before saying. “I didn’t realize you were so involved in politics. I haven’t seen you in any meetings.”

Lady Amet shrugged, “Oh they’re pretty informal here, but my family is pretty influential in the Iron Hills. The meetings here do drone on though.”

Lady Amet looked over Sigrid's shoulder and nodded her head in that direction, “We were quite surprised in the Iron Hills when your wedding was announced, everyone at court was talking about your romance.” She leaned forward again, a playful grin on her painted lips, “Between you and me, quite a few ladies and a few of the gentlemen were put out that they weren’t chosen. A lot of them would have clawed each other's eyes out to be in your position. But soon everyone got over it when they heard the story of your love. It was so romantic, almost straight out of a book.”

She said this as if it were a compliment but Sigrid heard the double meaning behind it all. She hesitated before saying, “I wouldn’t say that, I fear our marriage is pretty typical. Two kingdoms uniting for the good of their people.”

Lady Amets eyes grew wide in surprise, “Oh you don’t have to be so modest, we’ve all heard the tale. Everyone knows how he fought his uncle for his right to choose. Swords were drawn, dear.”

Sigrid looked back to Fíli who still looked tense but not like before, not like when they were alone. He was standing with little Thorin and Kíli , enjoying a dark amber drink. She couldn’t believe Fíli would draw a sword to his uncle, she knew their relationship hadn’t been the same since the battle but they didn’t seem as strained as before. Sigrid wondered what else this woman next to her knew that she didn’t know herself. She wanted to go to her rooms, to hide in her balcony or in her bed. Peace and quiet weren’t for her as they were interrupted by Lady Dis who had arrived looking harassed. “Oh thank Mahal you haven’t gone up to bed, I need your help, if you don’t step in I’ll have to take a sword to these dwarves. Excuse us Amet, I’m sure you don’t mind me stealing her away.”

Sigrid set her very cold tea down and stood quickly following her mother in law down towards the merchants quarters. At this hour the alleys were deserted but she could hear shouting as they walked up. “My sons should be down here, but I fear they’d just join into the pile.”

When they finally reached the commotion a small crowd had formed as King Thorin had another dwarf pinned up while a much shorter dwarf was beating the king repeatedly with what looked like a large jewelers glass. It took a long time for her and Lady Dis to disengage the three older dwarves, she felt like she was at the school as she had to send them to opposite corners. They began trying to shout at one another from across the small shop making Sigrid's head hurt, it seemed no matter what kingdom she was living in she had to play peacekeeper. Though no one in Dale had ever assaulted her father. The guild masters looked ashamed of themselves as she discussed their behavior, even King Thorin looked a bit embarrassed.

Nothing was settled tonight but she promised to mediate a second meeting between the two factions first thing in the morning before the start of the festival. She wanted to let tempers cool before she helped them see sense, though she had no idea what the argument was really about. She’d have to ask Lady Dis later. Both guild masters groaned when she gave them an hour to meet but agreed to it with a low bow each.

Lady Dis clapped her shoulder in a half hug, “Your father was right, he told me you had a firm hand for these sort of disputes.”

Sigrid smiled tiredly, “It reminded me of school children to be honest.”

Lady Dis’ laugh was loud and her eyes crinkled at the edges. “Don’t let my brother hear that he usually ends up in a fist fight during these things. Maybe you should be the one handling it from now on.”

They made their way back to the guest rooms where half of Erebor was still attending to the heir of the Iron Hills. Sigrid saw the young dwarf with Fíli and Kíli, talking amicably. He had a thick braid down the middle of his head with an already a thick beard. Sigrid could see a vague family resemblance though, in the eyes and nose. Though ‘little’ Thorin was much taller than his cousins. Lady Dis thumped her sons on the back of their heads before hugging her nephew. 

“You two should have been helping me and Sigrid handle that damn king, got into another fight with old Sorn about the price of iron of all things. Ah little Thorin, my you’ve grown since I saw you last.”

Fíli rubbed the back of his head testily, “No one asked for my help or I would have gone. You shouldn’t have taken Sigrid mother, what if she had been hurt?”

Sigrid narrowed her eyes, “I was perfectly safe, I can handle myself well and I took care of it.”

Fíli 'sjaw clenched. “Yes because it was a simple argument, you haven’t been in contract negotiations with this lot, knives have been thrown before.”

At this Lady Dis interjected, “I was there to take care of your wife, if anything she was there to prevent me from wielding my sword at the lot of them.”

Fíli snapped back, “That doesn’t help me feel any better about it.”

Sigrid glared at Fíli , she noticed with satisfaction that his mother was glaring at him too. Lady Dis’ face became haughty, she reminded Sigrid of all the ladies at court suddenly.“You’re being an overprotective ogre aren’t you, going to lock her up in a tower next?”

Sigrid, trying to put an end to the whole thing simply stated, “No one is locking me up in any tower.” Fíli looked like he wanted to say something but Lady Dis elbowed him. 

“Enough, if you’re so worried, you can go with her tomorrow. Now I’m going to ask my poor nephew how his trip was, if you’re going to be a brute, take it to the training yard.”

She dismissed her son with a wave of her hand and turned to Little Thorin who didn’t seem to much mind the whole thing. Sigrid was surprised at Fíli 'stemper, but she remembered their argument last night and assumed he must have been in a short fuse all day. She soon excused herself, eager to get some air. She wasn’t so lucky to escape unnoticed and Lady Amet insisted she join the ladies as they took tea together.

Sigrid gave in, joining into the conversation when spoken to directly. She was surrounded by the younger dwarven girls, most younger than Fíli and Kíli. She felt too tall around them too skinny, although well fed now in comparison to her life before the dragon, she had always felt she would be too thin. Lady Amet asked her more questions, though not about her relationship with the prince again. They were all eager for the events tomorrow and the next few days, Sigrid just wanted her bed.

She hated to admit it, she’d be loathed to admit it to Fíli at any rate, but she was starting to feel worn out and more tired now than she had in a long time. It felt like her mind was always working out something even when she was resting. Even now as she answered a question about the dress she would wear the next day, she felt her mind going over the things she had to do in the morning and groaned inwardly when she realized how much she had to accomplish before the games even began. She found a way to excuse herself, promising to see them tomorrow and almost running out of the room. 

When she got to her apartments she saw the door to Fíli’s rooms open and she sighed, knowing they should talk before things got out of hand but she hesitated. 

Lady Amets words from earlier rang through her mind, she stood there going over it. It seemed that everyone thought their marriage was real, that it wasn’t just on paper. She hadn’t heard about any story, she had assumed that their arrangement was very public. That it was something that they both did out of their duty to their own people. Her heart gave that all too familiar lurch, the one she ignored as she stepped into his sitting room. He was setting out his swords when she walked in. He looked up and spotted her, she almost wavered and bid him good night, but instead, she faced him. Breathing deeply she sat down at his table, her hands flat on the wood, avoiding the many sharp objects on it. 

“Why is it that everyone thinks we are in love?” It comes out harsher than she intended. Her cheeks feel hot but she refuses to touch them. “What story has been spread around that I’m not even aware of?”

His jaw clenches but his face becomes like marble. He doesn’t answer her right away, weighing his words carefully. Finally, his voice is neutral, “The story is that a prince from a lost kingdom married the girl who rose from ashes to become a princess. That he fought his uncle to marry her, and that she agreed.”

She knew all of that, it was the truth, “They said you drew your sword to your uncle.”

He chuckled, his eyes far away, remembering that moment. “I did, he drew his sword too. Why do you think I don’t want you at the more volatile meetings?”

Her voice, oh how she wished she could control it, she hated how it wavered. “But they think we’re in love.” She had never felt so small in front of him, so vulnerable. 

He sets his double swords down, purposefully, pointing away from her. He comes to her side of the table. She doesn’t want to look at him, so he lifts her chin gently. His smile is both sad and amused, “Is that so terrible?”

She thought of the day when Fíli had danced with her the first time, another festival, her dress made with the best fabric her father could find. How she had laughed with him, how he had held her hand so they could go down the line. How he had stayed at her side the whole night. Then she thought of last night and how seeing Fíli in a dark corridor hurt more than she would ever admit. She didn’t say anything, 

“Let them think what they want, we know the truth.” He touches her cheek, his fingers leaving a trail of burning skin behind. “That's all that matters.”

She nods, wanting nothing more than to go to her bed and hide away from him. “You’re right.”

He was right. Even as the rings on their fingers and the clasps on their hair proclaimed them otherwise, they knew that they were friends. And that's all they would ever be.

~*~


End file.
